Excuuuuuse me....a peek into the fine art of excuse making

Excuse me?
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In my 16 years of practice I’ve become a bit of a connoisseur in the art and science that is Excuse Making. The average adult pulls from years of experience and knowledge to come up with PhD level excuses; SARS, ISIS, OCD, ADD, IBS (OK, you might have something there), BMI, Ebola, Carpal Tunnel, or Kickball accident (I really got that one). If you’ve been off your fitness game there could be guilt, shame, sloth and a bunch of other yucky feelings surrounding that.

I’m here to tell you that there are very, very few reasons why you can’t work out and about a bajillion why you should be getting your Fitness Please! on the regular. I’ll run you through a few of my favorites excuses here. And then, for fun I want you to tell me the worst excuse you’ve ever given. I love them! I like to judge by content and creativity. Let’s hear ‘em!

I just don’t have the time...I’m so busy. These days we all claim to be overscheduled and overcommitted. You must make an active decision to include exercise as part of your day. Think of it this way, do you even think about whether you’re going to shower as part of your day? You don’t, you account for it as part of your day, right? I’m not talking about Sunday, or those of you who work home (I see you and we should talk about personal maintenance. Another time.) Do make time to hit the snooze button in the am? For happy hour? For The Bachelor (it’s 2017, hulu.com, c’mon man)?

You have to make time to exercise. And the first step is making it a higher priority, like your shower. You don’t even think about showering each day, it just gets done. It’s a higher priority. Need me to call you at 6 every morning and get you up? We can discuss that too. The perception is that you need to clear hours of time to make sure that you get some exercise in. The reality is that even if you’re crazy busy, you can fit in an effective workout in 20 mins. There are much more efficient (and enjoyable!) ways to reach your fitness goals than hamster-wheeling it at the elliptical with an US magazine. Have questions on how to do that? You’re in luck, I know a guy...

I can’t workout right now, I’ve got this bad back, knee, wrist, elbow, ingrown toenail, whatever. A few years ago, I went to a beer fest at a ski mountain. Got some great pow. ON MEMORIAL DAY. In shorts and a T-shirt. That day, I saw road biker, and a fly fisherman, and a golfer, and a jogger, and some girls in bikinis (that’s neither here nor there, but I saw them). I almost got choked up, I love my state! Point is this: Colorado is awesome. Almost everyone I know here does some sort of recreational activity; that also means almost everybody gets hurt doing said activity. Of course, then there’s the weekend warriors. I’ve bashed my head pruning tree trunks, sprained my shoulder laying pavestones, and had my knee rammed into by a 70 lb bulldog travelling at a high rate of speed (bulldog speed, but still).

We’ve all been hurt. I got you. I work in unison with some amazing chiropractors and physical therapists that can help get you back to fighting shape. Activity with care is what’s gonna fix those broken wings and teach you to fly again (love also helps, I hear). I’ve worked with plenty of folks who came to me less than 100% and they all came out better for it. Don’t put off what 99% of your body needs because 1% is in bad shape.

I want to get into better shape before I call a trainer. Ok, seriously. Can we be real for a second? This is crap and you know it. It’s like when you floss your teeth only before you see the dentist, or when you clean the house before the cleaning person comes. Why do we do that? Because we’re a bit embarrassed. Because you don’t want this person to see where things really are. Of course, you know they see right through this. So do I. That’s ok though. I truly understand where this is coming from.

There should never be shame or embarrassment with seeking help. I’m not here to judge you (unless you think sriracha is “hot” sauce). I’m here to help you, guide you, educate you. You go to the dentist because they can help you with your goal: A not-disgusting grill. You get help with cleaning your house because you got some brunching to do. A trainer is there to get you where you want to be: Putting on a gun show in front of your ex, putting on those jeans that didn’t quite fit but you keep anyway. That’s hope right there. Hope I can work with. Call me. Text me. Mostly text me, I’m busy. But call (text) me.

​Your turn: Tell me a story. Tell me your best get-out-of-working-out story. I love this stuff.